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Ottawa Valley Moms :: Ottawa Moms, Arnprior Moms & Renfrew Moms on Parenting, Life, Love and Staying Connected


Two Year Old Trouble

My son Owen is now 2.5 years old and what joys we experience with him! It would be really interesting to know the brain development of a two year old! Why does the terrible twos have to be true? We thought we had it bad when Owen was a year old! He has a very strong personality but can also be a shy sensitive soul! Since he was born he was all or nothing! He would be a perfect little angel one day and the opposing devil screaming barbarically the next! And he has kept that up for 2.5 years now! I was at my breaking point the other day when I confided in an amazing mom of three boys and I said “am I failing as a Mom? What am I doing wrong?” She said “No you are not failing, and you are not doing anything wrong, a lot of boys go through the stage and some are worse!”

I found a little relief in her words and began putting things in perspective. I thought about how truly amazing it is to experience how a toddler develops and what they develop! The art of throwing temper tantrums is so quickly learned! Sometimes I just don’t get it. He will be playing so nicely and his sister comes within 2 feet of him, or he wants the only toy another child has and it is instant meltdown, back arching, crying on the ground if mom says no. During the tantrum there is no talking to the child! There is no reasoning or listening, there is no comforting, nothing! We learned to tell him once (i.e. not to take toys from other children) and then we put him in a safe place to quiet down. He often comes out of this timeout on his own and if he is not overtired they are resolved fairly quick. Also we are working on avoiding these tantrums through communication before there is an issue… If only I could constantly see into the future! Do you have a way of dealing with your toddlers tantrums? Or avoiding them swiftly?

I adore my dear son, but being a mom to an active energetic toddler is tough! I have a couple friends who have quiet, passive toddlers and they don’t understand! I find it so exhausting because he never stops! He is always going and requires a lot of attention- apparently positive or negative! I have noticed though, that the more Owen is outside playing or has little projects inside, the better he behaves. It seems like he gets bored sometimes and throws a tantrum to spice things up a bit! I also learned he is worse when he is hungry or has eaten a lot of processed or sugary foods, or if he doesn’t sleep well or enough.

There are so many fun skills developed during the toddlers years, which do yours possess? Owen has started pretend play with his sisters tea set, or his kitchen. He also practices drawing circles, O’s and D’s for Daddy! We are also working on toilet training! Some days he is great and goes each time on his own, but seems to be a lazy trainer (or very smart!). He will pee in a pull up or diaper if it is on, otherwise he will go to the bathroom! Do you have any toilet training tips for active boys!? I think a lot is dependent on their personality because some days he wants to and others doesn’t- Those days I lose the battle.

Despite days of not listening, and doing everything in his power to defy me, I love the little guy! He makes it all worthwhile when out of the blue he says “I love you, mommy.” Because I know he does!

 
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Comments (10)

  1. Julie Wednesday - 24 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    Omg! I just had this same discussion with my husband last night. I have 2 boys- first will be 3yrs next month and the other is 14 months. It seems like a zoo at times in my house and every day is a rat race! I feel your pain and I question the same things. How do I manage this craziness and keep my responsibility as a parent to teach him how to be the best he can be? I also find that if he is 'helping' us in any way he acts like such a big boy and is very good and actually wants to please us. I feel like when things are going in the wrong direction they stay like that for a while. I read on a parenting website last night something that will stick with me and I hope will influence the way I react to my sons acting up: "your response to your child is your 'response'ability as a parent; to teach them the right way to deal with a problem".
    • Nina Wednesday - 24 / 10 / 2012 Reply
      Thank you Julie for your response!! It is so amazing when they are great, helpful proud boys! It is also so hard when they are at their worst! I love your comment about "response"ability because it is so true. I actually just read in an email: "Keeping an Even Keel~Your child will make you furious, so be ready for it. Frustration and anger are the flip side of the overwhelming love you have for your toddler and your powerful desire for her to grow up to be a good person. Accept your feelings, but don't let them get out of control - give yourself a "time-out" if you think you're getting close to the edge."
  2. Tricia Wednesday - 24 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    Great post Nina. I completely understand your feelings of frustration and desperation. I think its important to be consistant with our busy boys, and keep them busy like you said. They seem to thrive on activity. In the mean time, lean on other moms/women who will listen. You have always been my sounding board. Its nice to know we aren't alone. xo
    • Nina Wednesday - 24 / 10 / 2012 Reply
      Thanks Tricia! I too believe in consistency between both parents, grandparents, and other caregivers as well. It is challenging, but we are building their foundation now for the men they will become! Any advice helps and helps support other moms with two year olds. I would be curious to know if anyone has a two year old girl that feels the same?!
      • Katarina Wednesday - 24 / 10 / 2012 Reply
        Nina,I've been dealing with this with Abby for awhile now,there is no way I can talk to her when she is in full melt-down. It's either a child coming near her wanting to play,and she freaks when she has to share. Also when she doesn't get her way, I've been trying to catch it before it happens,but most of the time she does it anyway. Luke on the other hand will pout,stick his tongue at you or hit you and walk away. Toddlers can be soo weird at times!But we love them:)
        • Nina Wednesday - 24 / 10 / 2012 Reply
          Thanks for sharing Kat! We found the time out away from everything is the only thing that calms Owen down. I hope he groes out of it soon!
  3. Nina Wednesday - 24 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    I hope Abby grows out of it soon too!
  4. Julie MacDougall Thursday - 25 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    It's been a long time, but I can relate to your frustration! I found it was extremely important to feed my son on time, a meltdown was almost guaranteed if he got too hungry. Dinner was often late if we went to my parents house or other places, and I would give him a snack even if it was "close" to dinner and not worry about what anyone might think about ruining his supper as I knew it would head off problems. Suggestions are depending on the situations that trigger them, try not to say 'no' so much, find the 'yes'; give 5 min warnings before switching activities or going to/leaving places; read some books about sharing things and talk about them; if someone is coming to play ask him if there are really special toys he doesn't want to share and put them away beforehand , the rest of the toys have to be shared; teach him to use his words, and give him the words to use, ie You feel angry when... ; praise good behaviour effusively -- if he shares a toy jump up and down and tell him how much you and the child he shared with like that and how happy it made you; and tell others (dad, grandma, everyone!) later how well he did when he can hear you! And most of all be patient, with him and yourself, you're doing a good job, I'm sure, and try not to get angry when he's having a tantrum, give yourself a timeout if needed!
    • Nina Thursday - 25 / 10 / 2012 Reply
      Thank you so much Julie, I really appreciate your ideas and will do them for sure. I think it is hardest because I have them for 13 hours straight each day, so I have decided to check out alternative care like the preschool here and there is a drop off program at the high school with the parenting class which I think will really help. Thank you again for the support!
      • Julie MacDougall Thursday - 25 / 10 / 2012 Reply
        Giving yourself a break is a great idea, it can be pretty intense! And what a fabulous idea to have the parenting class look after real live two year olds, that might make some of them think twice about having kids anytime soon! lol!

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