“Hmm… It looks kind of like a… well…. umm…. like a rocket” my husband said to me after we were finished setting up our new LED Christmas tree.
“Yes, it does… doesn’t it? Well, I like it!” I said in response. I didn’t want him to see the shopper’s remorse all over my face. It was my idea to get the $99 Christmas tree after all. ”On our favourite rocket ship… Flying through the sky… Little Einstein’s!” I sang out in hopes of making the moment light and fun.
“Yeah, I. Do. Too.” my husband replied.
We went about the rest of our business, getting the rest of the house decorated for the holidays. I took pictures of our new tree and thought things in my head like, “I guess I won’t be sharing these on Facebook this year” and “When we have our entire family here, I’ll just say that this tree was on sale but that we really like it because we like things that are unique and different.” Yeah… that’ll do just fine.
As I strung garland on our banister and listened to Willow press the on button for the musical Christmas tree about a thousand times, my mind kept wandering back to the phallic Christmas tree. What on Earth was I going to do about this? How would I survive a Christmas with a tree that looked like a crotch rocket?
I don’t know what made me gravitate toward the tree but I did… I guess I was thinking that maybe, just maybe there was a way to make the tree look less phallic. I reached into the branches, feeling around, hoping and praying for a Christmas miracle. And a miracle I did find (well, less miracle and more moron-ical).
You see, when my husband and I set up our tree, we didn’t realize that the branches bent down. We didn’t realize that we had just set up an entire Christmas tree, with decorations, without actually spreading out the branches. When we realized this, we fell on the floor and died of laughter.
People… we survived a Christmas miracle. We don’t have a crotch rocket Christmas tree any longer.
Ever do that? Set up a Christmas tree without spreading out its branches? What else have you done around the holidays that is chuckle worthy? Leave it in the comments below!
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